Morte d’Petite Rouge
A WINTER’S TAIL
Everybody hated
her. Nobody liked her. Sheila, a little red squirrel; she was nasty, vindictive
and ruthless. (She never named any of her twelve daughters Ruth.) When Constable Caper was called to view her,
she had a long icicle through her frigid middle. He was a stately and very
bushy pewter squirrel, and wore his badge proudly.
The backyard was
soon abuzz about the unsolved murder. Tillie’s Treetop Teahouse et Boutique
brimmed with gory gossip. Tillie’s specialty was wholegrain bread cubes with honey
dip and sassafras tea. At the counter, Cary, a retired crow, and Muffle Mouse were
debating the case. Muffle’s wife Millie, and Ruby Rat were having hors d’oeuvres.
Millie preferred cheese, while Ruby really enjoyed her lox. They talked politics. When the constable
arrived for a cup of tea everyone mobbed him with questions: Who? What? When? Where?
Why? The constable left with his tea but not a word.
On Winter
Solstice Eve, Filbert Chipmunk had gotten a magnifying glass, a deerstalker hat
and a briar bubble pipe. His brother Hickory got a sling shot and a velour bag
of hard, dried corn kernels. His aim was improving. He only hit his brother
three times. His
brother, of course, was the intended target.
When the boys
learned of the mystery, they both became excited. “Solve it!” “Hit somebody
with my sling shot!” Off they went in search of Constable Caper.
“Now, boys,” the
constable warned, “Stay behind the red ribbon.” “Why?” asked Hickory. “Because
it’s a crime scene – very dangerous. Clues and all that. Professional,” he grumpily
responded returning to his investigation.
“The game’s
afoot. Clues!” cried Filbert, whipping out his magnifying glass. All he had done
with it so far was annoy some ants with sunlight. Intently they circled the
restricted area. “Humm!” he murmured, hovering over a spot. “What is it? The murderer’s
glove?” cried Hickory with glee. “A red herring,” his brother proclaimed. “Oh,
a false lead, a dead end, a cul de sac, a street to nowhere.” “No, a piece of
smoked kipper,” said Filbert placing the clue in a plastic bag. They also found
a dead beetle, the lid off a jar of marmalade, and a peanut. The latter they
put in themselves rather than a bag.
When they
searched for Constable Caper, they had found he’d gone to the station house.
They chased after and learned he had picked up three suspects. The whole
backyard community packed the courtroom for the hearing.
The first suspect,
Sammy Skunk professed his innocence, though he had no close alibi. Roberta
Rabbit, however, said she got a whiff of him at the time of the crime, over at
the trash heap. The second suspect, Jasper Jay had lots of motive. He and Sheila
had been known to quarrel at the seed tray. She often won. Jimmy and John were
Jasper’s buddies and swore he was with them at the time. Greg Groundhog was the
third suspect. Not out much, he was known to have run-ins with Sheila, who was
a territorial bully, especially with quiet inoffensive creatures.
The hearing went
on for days and suspicions went round and round. Then, on a Wednesday, Filbert
and Hickory were sitting in the back row. The prosecutor specified that Sheila
had been snacking at the time of her demise, and so, was distracted from whoever
snuck up behind her.
Hickory sat
straight up. “That’s it!” and began whispering to Filbert. “Order in the court,”
Judge Owl stated solemnly. Filbert piped up, “If you please, Your Honor, what
was Ms Sheila snacking on?” The prosecutor responded, “She had found a piece of
sushi and tried it.”
Filbert leaped to
his feet, clue bags in hand. “Your Honor, I believe you will find that Ruby Rat
should be questioned. She is the only one who really likes fish. If her teeth
match the marks on this piece of kipper, she was at the scene!”
Pandemonium! Ruby
Rat scampered to escape but Constable Caper apprehended her. Everyone cheered.
Filbert and Hickory were heroes. Mom Chip was so proud of her boys. She treated
them to peanuts and they settled down for a long Winter’s nap.
